The Similarity Between Relationships and Food

Out of all of the relationships I have encountered, my own and others, no two are ever exactly the same. Each person has unique needs that are required to make them happy and fulfilled. Some people need a little more attention, some extra physical affection and hand holding, maybe a little more romance (in comes The 5 Love Languages - a must read if you haven’t) or perhaps a bit more alone time and space.

The beauty and excitement about relationships is that everyone needs something different . It takes time to figure out what works for you and what doesn’t. It’s the no “one size fits all” idea.

BUT on a foundational level, there are certain things in a relationship that EVERYONE needs in order for it to work. The essentials- like love, communication and honesty. They are like the strong base or blueprint of a house, the pieces that hold the relationship together. The parts that without, it would probably fall apart. After that foundation is established then the individuals have their specific desires that are special to them, as we are all different.

The parts of us that are not cookie cutter are what I love about humanity. I remember being terrified of showing my differences to my partners because I didn’t fit the general mold that I thought of as a “normal” girl. I felt ashamed that I needed more alone time than most as it made me feel like I was too masculine. Or that I needed lots of long walks and communication to feel whole and comfortable. After a while of trial and error I then realized that my unique nature and needs are not going to be the same as someone else’s and that is perfectly okay. It will make me healthier and happier in the long run if I understand them and ask for what I need.

So how does this relate to eating?

Nutrition and the way we eat is no different than a relationship with a person. It is your relationship with food.

When I look at my nutritional needs, I start with a nutritional blueprint- the foundational needs we have as human beings to be healthy.

Then I have to tailor the rest of my eating to me! What I specifically need. This means not following someone else’s healthy diet that is found in a magazine or online. Expecting another person’s diet to work for you doesn’t exactly make sense because it’s tailored to them and not you. Just like I wouldn’t say that every relationship needs hand holding, movie night and ear licking to make them happy.

So I invite you to explore this concept and bend the rules a little bit.

Without judgement of what is right or wrong, what does healthy eating look like to you?

What do YOU need?

I need grains, leafy greens and lots of fat. I need coffee, wine and dark chocolate occasionally. Typical chick, I know. Some of these needs, like the wine, I like to call my “bad things”, because traditionally, they have been off limits in the dieting world. But I have found a way to have a healthy balance with those beautiful foods included.

My point is we all don’t need exactly the same things to make us healthy and more importantly, happy.

Being healthy doesn’t mean following the food pyramid and never straying. If you want to eat like that, your life will most likely be parallel to that. Boring lives are no good, and neither is boring eating. Also it takes a ton of willpower that eventually will snap.

It actually means following your gut, your intuition, the deep inner knowing of what your body needs to thrive.

You don’t have to eat dark chocolate and drink coffee like me, just like I don’t always need hand holding to feel loved. Healthy is yours and yours only. Make it unique to you and see what happens.

Cheers to you and your individual health.



Andrea Rodgers