I've fallen into a way. A new way that I wouldn't have found if the past 27 years didn't lead up to it. It's called being surrounded by positivity. I dare you to try it.
It's tough because sometimes it's out of your control for the moment. But eventually that becomes an excuse. And it's yours to own.
Every morning for the past 2 1/2 weeks I jumped in a lake. Sometimes with people. Or a dog. Or by myself. I paddle boarded most days. I fell in love with it. I ran up hills. Water skied. Sailed.
I ate 2 big meals a day with cheese. Sandwiches became a staple. Very few greens. And I infrequently ate sweets which for me is abnormal. I drank weaker coffee and didn't need the caffeine as much. Lots of craft beer and local wine. Water from the faucet.
I watched and observed. And developed new patterns influenced by those around me. Sometimes they were way out of my comfort zone. But guess who created that comfort zone? And guess who can get themselves out of it?
What I experienced was not just time in Wisconsin with my "in laws" but an opening for me that I didn't quite understand until now. A lot was exposed. And through that exposition I saw a pattern. And some light shown through. Thank heavens.
I called my mom and apologized for being an asshole in high school (I really was the biggest pain in the ass). I apologized for hating everything about music growing up when I really could have been playing and creating something beautiful with one of the most talented Clarinetists in the country. I realized that where I come from is not a mistake and has brought me to this exact moment in time. And for that I am grateful.
I realized that all people are not like the ones I am used to. And I can not judge them based on that. I realized that families can be healthy and communicate. And that there are no specific "roles" that people have to fall into.
But above all, I experienced a new kind of love. One that I admire deeply. And it is preparing me for the love I hopefully one day will get to give. I found it on the last day when I said goodbye, looked into everyone's eyes and loaded the Uhaul. Eyes. Expressions. Love. Truth.
I am sincerely thankful that I am able to experience such a rich 2 1/2 weeks, although I don't think you will be able to understand the depth of the impact. Thank you. I love you. Go Packers :)
Pura Vida | living the pure life
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#sleepselfie - because my favorite part of the day is waking up -
"It's like, it's like your rib cage is a jail cell, holding all that love in. So, I want you to take your fist, take your fist, and grab your heart and hold it in the air, hold that love in the air and open your fingers, one at a time if you need to, and let that love out. " #loveart
fresh to 💀 #feelingfreshasfuck #greens
If I am thankful (and slightly embarrassed as a kid) for one thing, it's for your love and influence of music- in my heart and soul fo sho. Cheers dad 🍻 ⚡️🌹#beatles #tubaman #grateful #mydadisabadassmusician
Hugs not drugs #sisters👭
I don't think I have ever felt as at home as as I do here. I think back on all of the cities, the apartments and places I have lived. I used come back from California wishing that I lived there. This time I came back craving these mountains and this awesome,alive community. Home is where your heart is. Mine really is here. #colorado #grassaintgreener #wineaintsweeter #welcomehomehunny
Life, out of the depths, will clarify things for you only if you wish to see your challenges as an opportunity of growth. Sometimes we need rain. #itstimetogrowtoday
If you know me.... #steinerohhowlovely #mirandahillardplease
The Hollywood shows were amazing. Unfortunately there was a threat in the middle of the first show that had my heart in my throat. The interesting thing as I reflect was that my fear was actually for @bobweir And @deadandcompany . And my fellow neighbors. I truly felt it for my life last. These lessons are learned through the message of this music. Despite it all, the energy from this crowd was peaceful and alive. I am so thankful for finding this music and for my two friends who helped me get there. #pleasespreadpeace #wavethatflagwaveitwideandhigh #grateful ✌️
I finally made it home #homeiswherethedeadis #grateful