Why do you Push

As I ventured home the other day from my early morning clients, I was fighting a mini war - in my head. I was battling with myself about working out. I had zero energy but was determined to do my workout. I planned out my exercises and knew it would be a busy week otherwise. I had to do it. "Stop being lazy" I told myself. "Once you get in there you will feel better." So I pushed myself through. 

I arrived to the gym, put my sneakers on and started my Turkish Get Ups. My body was telling me no but my mind was telling me to stop being a pussy. "Get on the rower. Just do 1000 meters".  

Have you ever been there? When you are mentally fighting yourself, sometimes for hours, about making a decision, when you actually know deep down inside what you should do?

I knew that if the shoe had been on the other foot and I was giving advice to a client, I would tell that person to go home and chill the f*** out. But why couldn't I do that for myself?

While yes, there is a population of people that should have pushed through (you know who you are lazy bones), there are also those of us who always "push through", even when it's inappropriate.

How do you know when to push or not?

Someone dear to me once told me something that has served as a mantra. I didn't realize the importance at the time but as I reflect, it holds so much meaning to many areas of my life and almost brings me to tears. Now who's the pussy, right?

"I can't tell you what to do. I know what I selfishly want you to do, but you have to follow your heart and do what you think is right. I don't have the answer for you".

Granted, the context of this conversation was extremely different but the message holds true. No one can truly tell you what to do when you develop these internal mental battles. 

Only YOU know what is appropriate to do in that moment. It may be different tomorrow. You may be making excuses about working out when you are actually NOT tired or you could be experiencing another feeling that is telling you to stop. But it's a different day. A different situation. But only you truly know. 

So I challenge you and myself. What if you listened to yourself and your body and gave it what it really needed?

Did I really need that workout physically or was I seeking out the endorphin rush it would give me after? Did I really need to row 1000m or did I just need someone to hug or hold me in order to get that same feeling of love for myself? 

The mental struggle is real. Sometimes it is more exhausting than the physical struggle. But if you give yourself what you really need and really feel inside of you, you will get stronger, sometimes without the weights. Just by knowing when to stop pushing.