What I think about being afraid

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will allow my fear to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone I will turn my inner eye to see its path. And where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." (From Frank Herbert's Dune)

Sometimes you do something for so long that it becomes almost nearly impossible to get out of it. Everything seems just okay. And you live in a constant state of "just okay-ness". That becomes normal. You know that you're living in it but you don't know what to do.

The hamster wheel effect. The plateau. The monotony of living at 50%.

Sometimes it's okay to feel scared. Not knowing what is going to happen. Removing the predictability. 

Changing up your workout. Squatting heavier. Buying a plane ticket. Giving someone your number. Just to see what will happen.

Maybe you will get stronger.

Sometimes when you start to change your pattern- do something scary, it all starts to work. Where one moment bleeds into the next to form a beautiful picture and story. That never would have happened unless you felt scared. 

Where you understand why certain struggles present themselves. When you become naturally curious about the people who come across your path. There to teach you certain things. 

And then. All of a sudden. You stop pushing so much. And start to feel this flow. You realize that when you don't try as hard to control everything, you actually do better. Potentially you have found a little bit of yourself again. The you that was wild and free when you were five years old. The little child that wasn't afraid of anything. 

Forget the fear today.