This year marks the 25th year of my being or quarter life crisis as it is more formally known. But not for me- I plan to be as healthy as a horse until I'm 150!! Birthdays should really be celebrated as our own personal New Years celebration. It marks exactly one year from the day we were put onto this earth. Each new year in our life gives us a great opportunity to reflect on the past and a think about our future. It is a new chance to make the right decisions and healthy choices based on what we have learned from the past.
This past year in particular offered me many lessons, some of the most challenging times I have faced thus far. At first as road blocks would show their face I would hide, internalize and be "strong". The ironic thing is that I would actually go to Crossfit, crush some serious weight and physically get stronger while inside the emotions and hurt were eating away at my strength.
The second I felt vulnerable or was let down or hurt, I would swallow it. I was strong, right? I'm not weak nor will I let someone else's actions slow down my amazingness. Until I swallowed the hurt one too many times and it burst. Situations happen in our lives as a result of imbalance in order for us to grow as people. These are not "mistakes" you make but rather lessons you need to learn.
As children we were put into situations that were out of our control and had to deal the best we can. Unfortunately some of us were not taught the correct way to deal with our emotions. It's not about sticking a bandaid over the wound and calling it a day. It's about asking ourselves "why". Having a bulletproof exterior is not as important as having a strong, sound interior.
When situations present themselves, we have to ask ourselves why they are happening. It is our first instinct to blame another person and of course is much easier to put the blame on someone else. But the other part of the equation is you. You have attracted this event into your life, not on purpose, but because there is an opportunity for growth. That is quite a different mindset than I have been using for my of my life.
In order to grow this next year of my life, here are some of the changes I hope to make in my everyday life:
- Be curious about the negatives. Certain things are happening in my life, good or bad, are not a result of luck but rather a reaction to the "balance" or lack there of. Of course there are situations of extreme circumstances like death or an accident, but there is always a meaning to come out of it. What is the universe trying to teach me?
- Be spontaneous. I am not sure if many people deal with this or if it's just me but I easily get caught up in my life. Work, rest, eat, workout, too tired for drinks, inspired, write a bucket list, forget about it etc. Before I know it, it has been weeks since I left Beacon St. and since I saw my 84 year old grandmother who has little time left. Inspiring and motivating my clients comes easy to me but when I take a look at my snapshot of life it often seems less than that. It doesn't mean I am going to go travel to Bali, although I would like to. but doing more manageable things that will make me happy and more fulfilled. I won't die if I don't workout a day. I may actually be better off.
- Be alone and be ok with it. I was never alone growing up. I cannot remember any day where I was bored or had nowhere to go. My sister and I were always going to church, grandmas, garden club, violin, you name it. My mom is still that way and has herself booked for months out. Now as an adult I find it difficult to not have plans. I feel like I need to be busy all the time. And when I’m not busy I have this guilty, innate let-down feeling. When I started to notice this pattern, I really took a look at it and started asking myself why. Then it all made sense. In order to get past something it is necessary to ask the right questions. Not necessarily how to fix it but rather what is causing this. Instead of patching it up let’s get to the root.
I invite all of you to make a list today of three things you would like to accomplish and choose one, just one, to concentrate on. Don’t be a super hero.